Hospital Visit

Friday I had to break down and go the ER to get relief from my newest bout with kidney stones...or rather a kidney stone that has been lodged up in there since 2006 or even before. Also, when I say "break down," I literally mean break down. I called my mom at work in tears about 9:30am begging her to come home because "it was a bad one." Within about twenty minutes I was lying in my bed in fetal position, white-knuckle grasping the bedsheets and wishing God would just end me right there. Then came the vomiting, at which time we began our preparations to head to the hospital. This routine, I have to admit, my mom has become quite good at. In a matter of moments, I was safely tucked in the backseat of her car, bucket on the floor, blanket wrapped snuggly around me as I violently shook and dry-heaved at the same time...a plastic bag was placed next to me with a water bottle, napkins, Kleenex, and gum (to get the puke taste out of my mouth should I need it). Cell phone in hand she made some necessary calls as she double-checked her purse for the notebook she keeps with my med. lists and prior kidney stones information that they always inevitably ask for in the ER at some point. She's a pro, what can I say.

The visit itself was quite nice. Aside from almost losing consciousness twice, vomiting so much that the dry heaves made me pull a muscle in my left side, and generally wishing my life would just end, I was whisked into my own little room at an incredibly brisk pace. The lovely nurse arrived quickly, joking about my ashen skin and lips and how they always know a kidney stone patient by our bent over position and pasty skin and lips, and I dazedly listened to her chatter as I willed her to get that IV into my arm as quickly as possibly. But alas, my veins wouldn't cooperate and after doing a number on my right arm, and then my left arm, we finally settled on my left hand and FINALLY my dear little friends came flowing steadily into my body. Friends with names such as Zofran, Toradol, Fenegrin and my new favorite...Dilaudid. In a matter of minutes, I went from going-out-of-my-mind pain and violently shaking from both pain and incredible coldness to this delightful warm, weighted sensation--I felt as if I was being wrapped in a warm, cozy, little cocoon.

And then there was the wonderful man who did my CT Scan. Through my medicated stupor he asked me where the pain was. "Pain," I slurred through my aforementioned medicated stupor. "What pain?" The nurse at my side laughed and asked where WAS the pain. Much better, I thought to myself. We must be accurate. I feel no pain. I quickly pointed to my right side to answer their question. The guy who did my CT Scan also chatted it up with me about his last bout with kidney stones and then told me about the grown men they get in the hospital sobbing like little babies and women with kids who say giving birth is nothing compared to the pain of kidney stones. I remember him saying these things, but once again, I'm in a medicated stupor, and all of this just amuses me. The pain is just a hazy memory now and I just want to be back in my little room with the warm blankets and sleep, sleep, sleep. Oh yes and keep the meds flowing through that IV for heavens sake!!!

And now, a few days later, I'm home and completely off both the Zofran and Vicodin they had me on for here at home. I still haven't passed the stone, but it's out of my kidney where it really causes pain and I'm trying to pass it on the lowest dosages of meds possible. I'm praying I get rid of it in the next two days...without going back on Vicodin. All right, I've run out of time to expand on my kidney stone narrative, so I'll end here for the night. :-)