The defining moment in my pre-Christian story took place in 1997. It was at this point and time, when I was fourteen years old, that my mom and dad decided to separate. Although I was by no means shocked when they told my brother and myself, I still was at an incredibly awkward and rebellious age, so I didn't cope the best with this break-up of our family. To say I was one angry, little teenager is a vast understatement. My desperate quest for comfort began in earnest after my dad moved out and things with my family became very messy. I was fourteen years old: awkward, rebellious, and desperately searching for an identity and comfort anywhere I could find it. I'm sure you can imagine where this is heading...Actually, here is where I can see the first, very evident, intervention by the Lord. At this point in my life, at fourteen years old, incredibly rebellious, desperately looking for comfort...things could have gotten pretty ugly, pretty quickly. But they didn't. I was a freshman in high school and the first new friends I made were at band camp and they were upperclassman and all very positive, kind, and even a bit motherly toward me. Every time I got down and depressed, they were there lifting me back up. They didn't feed my sour moods, but instead, helped me to stay positive. I also became friends with my drum major who, conveniently turned out to be a Christian.
I loved the arts, and quickly found my niche transferring from music to the world of theater, and once again, found myself surrounded by Christians. My first real boyfriend was a devoted Christian and a number of the people I interacted with on a regular basis (including his family and best friend) were devoted Christians as well. But I still didn't know the Lord. And as a result I sought my comfort and identity in the world of the theatre and treasured the escapism it provided. If I wasn't at school, I could be found at our local community theatre. I reveled in that world and thought that nothing mattered more than it. I continued to look for comfort not only in the theatre, but in the relationships that world provided as well.
One night, after a particularly grueling rehearsal, I came out of the theatre with a friend of mine (read: my former, first real boyfriend). We started talking about the stress of the night, my frustrations with my lack of perfection in theatre, with academics, etc. I began ruminating on the futility of it all and philosophizing on whether or not this truly all mattered in the long run. In my mind, I was just venting to a dear friend of mine, but the Lord had a different plan for this night.
After patiently listening to me, my friend began talking about his relationship with the Lord and how his identity and perfection itself was found in only one place, and that place was in his Savior, Jesus Christ. I vaguely remember my curiousity at the direction the conversation had taken, and the earnestness with which he shared these thoughts...
To Be Continued
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