Originally, I wanted to entitle this post “Stress and Anxiousness,” but after rereading what I have written, I've decided “Pride” is much more fitting. Here is why…
“Where there’s worry, where there’s anxiousness, pride is at the root of it. When I am experiencing anxiety, the root issue is that I’m trying to be self-sufficient. I’m acting independent of God.”-C.J. Mahaney Humility: True Greatness (p. 75)
OK, before I delve into all that quote means to me right now, it is important that I first provide some background. Here we go. This week has been really rough. It’s the week before spring break (i.e. midterms) and I have had more to accomplish than I thought was humanly possible. In the midst of all of my frantic activity of writing papers, cramming for exams, as well as trying to get my regular homework done and what seemed like a million and one other tasks, I started feeling stressed. Really stressed. I haven’t felt stressed all semester and then this week it hit me like a freight train. To top it all, I physically didn’t feel right. My head seemed fuzzy, my whole body ached, and I was struggling with ordering my thoughts—basically I didn’t feel myself, but I kept pressing forward, getting more and more stressed as each hour passed.
Then I woke up this morning with a 102 degree temperature and I just collapsed. I give up Lord, I whispered as I crumpled back into my bed. As I laid in bed praying, I came face-to-face with the reality of my sin this week. And that sin is pride. The real issue is I get some incredibly sick high off of this fast-paced schedule, that I glory in my ‘to-do’ lists and bulldozing through each task in this frantic, mad-dash of a week, as well as reveling in the sense of MY accomplishment I feel at the end of the week. What is so tragically awful about this is how I push God aside, how “I’m trying to be self-sufficient. I’m acting independent of God” (Mahaney 75). It is pride, in all its wretched ugliness. Self-reliance. And that is the source of where all my stress and anxiousness comes from. So, as God reminded me so gently this morning, I don't need to carry this burden of stress and anxiety; I am not self-sufficient. I need God for everything I do.
Then, reading a Piper sermon tonight (http://www.desiringgod.org/ResourceLibrary/Sermons/ByDate/ 1988/625_Let_Him_Who_Boasts_Boast_in_the_Lord/), I gleaned a few good reminders concerning this issue of pride. And ultimately I was pointed back to God’s Word which is the ultimate authority in my life. Here are some passages I will be meditating on for the next few days.
Galatians 6:14, "Far be it from me to glory except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, by which the world has been crucified to me, and I to the world."
2 Cor. 3:5 - "Not that we are sufficient of ourselves to claim anything as coming from us; our sufficiency is from God."
2 Cor. 4:7 - "But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, to show that the transcendent power belongs to God and not to us."
2 Cor. 12:9 - "I will all the more gladly boast of my weaknesses, that the power of Christ might rest upon me."
Oh I am so grateful for the Holy Spirit's gentle conviction and that I have God's Word to chew on all day long and that God transforms my life through the time spent in His Word! Especially that He doesn't allow me to walk away from Him unchanged!!!
And before I end this post, I want to include this exhortation from John Piper which has been so encouraging to me tonight, once again taken from his sermon “Let Him Who Boasts Boast in the Lord” which is linked above.
“The purpose of God in the creation of man and the salvation of sinners is that we might boast in HIM. This is God's will for you this morning. God is speaking in these words very clearly. And what he is saying is this: turn this very moment from all boasting in your self. Don't seek your pleasure any more in your own wisdom, or your own strength, or your own looks, or your own achievements. Look to Christ crucified and see what becomes of it all.
Paul said in Galatians 6:14, "Far be it from me to glory except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, by which the world has been crucified to me, and I to the world."
So I call you to come to Christ and die this morning—and to live. And the promise of God is this: there is no greater life, no greater joy than to boast in Him!”
