My Journey with the Lord: Salvation Story

So I last left you with my friend explaining to me about his relationship with the Lord and how his identity was found only in his Savior, Jesus Christ.   I wish I could say I remember vividly every single detail of this conversation...but I don't.  I vaguely remember my curiosity at the direction the conversation had taken (after all, I knew he was a Christian...and he knew I wasn't a Christian....why were we talking about this now, after all the time we had known each other?!)

That night we ended up at our local Barnes and Noble with open Bibles before us.  The first verse that stood out to me was in the Beatitudes, Matthew 5:3, "Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven."  I latched onto this verse as the phrase "poor in spirit" echoed over and over in my head.  That night, God began to reveal to me my poverty of spirit.  One simple verse, that's all it took for the Holy Spirit to convict me.  All I could see as my friend read that verse out loud to me, and other verses throughout the Bible, was that all of my strivings truly were in vain, that no matter how brilliant I would try to be in theater, in academia, or how nice I was...all of that couldn't get me to heaven.    My poor friend tried to ask me questions about the passages we were reading and I know I must have responded a bit inanely...I couldn't help it, only that first part of Matthew 5:3 was churning in my mind. 

Thankfully, my friend pressed on and drew me back.  He walked me through the Scriptures, pointing out to me various passages, explaining what sin is and how the wages of sin is death.    The enormity and weight of my sin was truly palpable and I longed so desperately for this heavenly Father’s love and acceptance as He opened my eyes to the  truth of His Word.  Then my friend took me to passages that were like a refreshing drink of cool water as I waded through the desert that was my sin.  Romans 6:23 stood out to me, "For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord."  And then, as my sin seemed so overwhelming and yet I knew intellectually that I was being offered a gift, I was turned to 2 Corinthians "God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God."   I knew I wanted heaven.  I knew I didn’t want to live with this newly discovered awful weight.  I was tired.  Tired of trying so hard. Tired of being so angry. Tired of wanting something that I couldn’t quite put my finger on.  I wanted to be clothed in Christ's righteousness and be able to access this amazing God who offered such amazing freedom to me!  So that night, after my friend walked me through Romans 10:9-10, which says,

That if you confess with your mouth, "Jesus is Lord," and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved.

I knelt in Barnes and Noble parking lot and confessed that I was truly a sinner and in desperate need of a Savior.

Praying for the first time, I remember actually being nervous.  Not because of my company, or the fact that I was in a parking lot (please note: by parking lot, I mean a grassy area at the end of the parking lot) with cars whizzing by me, but because I had no idea what to say to this God I was just being introduced to.  Luckily my friend, college boy that he was, actually was sensitive to my discomfort and prayed with me which made it a bit easier.   

It wasn't until I was finally in my car, alone with the Lord, that I think everything finally clicked.  As I drove the 20 minutes back to my house, in the quietness of that drive, I confessed my sins to the Lord out loud as He brought them to mind.  I told God that I wanted to belong to Him, that I felt like I belonged to Him and that I wanted to know Him more.   I thanked Him for sending Jesus to die in my place for the penalty of my sins.  I thanked Him even more that because of Jesus' death and resurrection, I could now stand in His presence clothed in Christ's righteousness!  In my excitement, it was a bit difficult to fall asleep that night!

The next day once I finished fourth hour (it was the first week of school), I raced out to my car and practically flew the 25 minutes to the theater where I had an internship all that junior year of high school.  I scarfed down my sandwich and couldn't wait to read my Bible.  I'd had a Bible for about six months (since about the time my mom had started going to church), but it didn't make sense when I read it, so I had barely used it.  When I opened it up that day, I felt so excited.  I immediately turned to where my friend and I had left off in Matthew 5 and dug in.   

In the weeks that followed, I gobbled up Scripture as God continued to open up my eyes to the truth and beauty of His Word.  He revealed to me more and more of His character and what He has done for me and what He continues to do.  In those weeks that followed, God ultimately showed me what my heart had always been longing for:  Him.   I couldn't believe how supremely satisfying a relationship with God could be.  In my excitement and zeal, I started sharing with everyone and anyone I could.  One of the guys that had a locker near me at school, starting teasing me and everytime he'd see me, he's laughingly call out, "Save me Je-bas, save me" quoting a line Homer Simpson says in the TV show The Simpsons.  

As the year progressed on, I toned down in my overzealous sharing, but not in my relationship with the Lord.  I couldn't wait to get to church every Sunday and I treasured my daily Bible reading in the quiet greenroom during lunch at the theater.  I loved being a child of God and I couldn't wait to see where God was going to take me throughout the rest of my life as I walked with Him.