Friday, May 27, 2011

Transitioning Home

This all seems so unreal, but I am actually beginning to make the transition home.  At the end of this school year, I will relinquish my title of high school English teacher and become solely Ciaran's wife, expectant mother of Baby, and homemaker.  Sure, I'll wear many other caps, but those three will comprise my primary profession from here on out.  I have always vacillated between wanting to stay home and raise children and having a career.  When I married Ciaran though, something changed.  As Ciaran and I discussed and prayed about our future and as I began to delight in making a home for Ciaran (and experienced the great frustration when my teaching load pulled me away from that) I realized that being a stay-at-home wife and mother might be what God has for me in this season.  What always held me back was the stigma of the SAHM....and I'll admit it....my pride.

I've always been very ambitious about my career goals.  And I like talking about my work when I'm out socializing (introverts like myself have trouble socializing and work is always a safe topic).  But what happens when someone asks what I do for a living and I say, "I stay at home and care for my husband and children."  I've watched this play out before in the company of people who aren't supportive of the career path of a SAHM.  There's always an awkward pause...and sometimes a sneer....and almost always the overheard conversation later on where the SAHM is made fun of and labeled lazy...or the poor husband is pitied for marrying such a purposeless woman and glorified for carrying such a heavy workload so his wife can fritter away her time at home.  Which to me, incredibly sinful, specifically prideful, people-pleasing, incredibly ambitious little me is as good as a death sentence. 

Ciaran and I have discussed this a lot over the last few years.  And we both know this will be good for me.  I am going to have to cling even more tightly to the knowledge that my worth is in Christ as I work diligently each day on the home front.  And I'm going to have to be more prayerful about trusting the Lord to provide and give me continued purpose and conviction each day that this is what He has for us in this season.  We serve an awesome God and I am so, so fortunate to get to become a keeper of my home.  We are wholeheartedly convinced that this a good calling and this is a job I should delight in and be proud to claim. 

And thankfully I am blessed with a whole host of SAHM's whom I can learn from in the coming years.   I am surrounded by women who daily prove that this is a calling that is worth pursuing and pursuing diligently and faithfully.  Just as I have studied the work of high school English teachers in my school and across the country, I now get to study the work of SAHM's in my church, circle of friends, and across the country (through many different books and blogs). 

So as I begin to pack my things in my classroom and watch and savor the last moments teaching before a different crowded group of teenagers every 90 minutes during the work-day, I rejoice that God has made me a woman and given my husband a vision for our family, and that God has called me home.  I know it will probably be the toughest job I've held to date, but I rejoice that it's where my heart is and that God will equip me for each new challenge, just as he has done all throughout my teaching career.

5 comments:

Shannon said...

I'm very glad you are following the Lord's leading in coming home, despite your old self fighting for the career. It's interesting to me, though, that I have similar feelings/experiences with those awkward conversations, having chosen the opposite road (for now). Those of us who are planning on continuing our career get our share of looks and remarks from the SAHM'ers. Guess we're just bound to be challenged by others, whatever our calling...especially by those called in a different direction.
Stay focused, dear one. You can have confidence in your choice...having confidence that God can be trusted to lead you and Ciaran where He wills.

Jeniffer said...

I often wonder if I'm really doing what's best for my family. After all, having a job would be so much less stressful on my husband and me. And since I don't have any teaching experience, if I were to start teaching when my children are older, it would be from the very beginning. But I always come back to this: my children need their mom and my husband needs his wife (even if in this season, I am much too tired to even try to keep the house kept.)
God has called you to a beautiful purpose and role. Trust Him to lead you, and you'll always have an answer. :)

Michelle said...

Shannon,
Thanks for the encouragement and I find that so sad that you have to have those same awkward conversations with the SAHM'ers. My advice and my prayers for you are the same you gave to me...Stay focused, dear. Have complete confidence that God can be trusted and will continue to lead you both in what He wills for you!!! I'm so excited for you!!!

Michelle said...

Jeniffer,

Thanks for dropping by my blog and offering such sweet encouragement! We are really looking forward to this new season. I know it's going to be a bit scary at times, but I'm really looking forward to how God is going to grow us through it!

Brittany Brines said...

Hi Michelle, I really enjoyed this post. This was very helpful to me because I am going through some of the same thoughts, though my job/s have been different, but having to give up teaching horseback riding and selling the horses has been tough, but good for me and God is calling me to enter a new stage in life and I am thrilled to start. :)God bless and you are SUCH an encouragement to me. You will be one of the SAHM's that I will look up to.